The Stupid Boy Crush
by LarienGreenleaf1
Summary: Stan finds one last story that Wikileaks forgot to publish...
1. Chapter 1

The Stupid Boy Crush

Pairing: StanxKyle

Summary: Stan reads a story that Wikileaks had yet to post...

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit piece of fan-fiction about South Park, I don't own it. If I did... Well you would know it!

Chapter One:

It was over. No-one ever had to be humiliated by Eavesdropper again. He only wished that he had seen how poisonous it was before the dumb gerbil had humiliated him. But then again it had given him a lot more respect for Kyle. None of the stories run had been directed at him but he still saw that it was a horrific thing to do to people. Stan didn't realise that until after the website had made Wendy hate him.

He ran through the website one last time before shutting it down. He had volunteered to delete the rest of it after Mr. Mackey had deleted the secret story, something he seemed far too eager to do. Although Stan didn't think too much into it. He had agreed to wrap it up mostly to make sure there was nothing else on him. Only after he was completely sure that no-one else was in the computer lab, or likely to enter, he ran his name through the search bar.

_Stan Marsh_

Just as he had feared, two stories. The second one, the stupidest story ever to be reported, the story that was an insult to journalism. Honestly why was that even worth reporting? He couldn't even remember the name of the girl he was checking out! Well not checking out exactly... Noticing... For Kenny...

Stan quickly shook his head and turned his attention to the first story on the page.

His jaw dropped. His eyes widened to twice their usual size. Every drop of blood in his head seems to run away from his face as if it had spontaneously caught herpes or something.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI'S SECRET BOY CRUSH

Why had this come up when he searched his name?

"No," Stan said out loud. "No reason to jump to conclusions about this. I mean the article just probably mentions me because I'm his best friend. Besides, this is all bullshit anyway right? None of its true. Well some of it was true..." Stan laughed to himself nervously before going to delete the file. Despite having no belief in psychic powers, he saw an exact prediction of the future in his mind's eye.

He saw himself lying awake at night wondering about the story, then avoiding Kyle because he was paranoid he might have a crush on him. This would go on for days, maybe even weeks, before Stan confronted Kyle, only to find out that it was bullshit and making everything incredibly awkward between them.

No matter how stupid the story was, it would probably be better to check it out now and save him the heart break.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI'S SECRET BOY CRUSH

IT WAS REVELED DURING A PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN KYLE BROFLOVSKI AND KENNY MCKORMIC THAT THE GINGER JEW IS ALSO A LITTLE FAGGOT. THE FORTH GRADER CONFESSED THAT HE HAS A MASIVE CRUSH ON HIS BEST FRIEND STAN MARSH, BOYFRIEND OF WENDY TESTABURGER.

"_I'll meet you next to the arcade after school. Although Stan won't be able to make it until around five, he has his maths tutor."_

"_So Stan's coming with us?"_

"_Well why wouldn't he?"_

"_I thought you were going to try and spend less time with him, you know after what you said about-"_

"_I know what I said Kenny!"_

"_Alright Dude, chill the fuck out!"_

"_Sorry Dude."_

"_Ah that's ok. So... How is the whole Stan thing going?"_

"_Well there isn't really any point in me trying to see him less; I mean we see him every day at school. I'd just end up feeling mean if I excluded him from hanging out with us. I'd rather have these weird feelings for him then feel bad about rejecting him."_

"_Are you worried about him rejecting you?"_

"_Well... I don't know. I don't think I'll ever tell him. I mean it's just a crush it'll go away on its own eventually. There's no point in making a big deal out of it."_

"_If you say so. See you at school then Dude."_

"_Yeah... Bye then."_

"_Bye."_

He couldn't believe it... He just couldn't! Kyle, his best friend since forever, had a crush on him? It was just so... Unbelievable.

Without saying a word, or even thinking any, Stan clicked deleted. He deleted the story, along with the rest of them, turned off the computer and went back to class.


	2. Chapter 2

Stan tried to concentrate, he really did. But his mind just couldn't take in Mr Garrison's lecture about season three of Gilmore Girls. He knew he would probably fail the end of week pop quiz, but he really didn't care. Strange thing was he didn't seem to care about Kyle either. His brain was giving him nothing to work with. It was blank, completely blank. But if he didn't care then why was he staring at him?

Quickly Stan turned away from his best friend and looked down at his blank paper. The white plain sheet, with nothing. No thoughts about the lecture and none about Kyle, reciprocal or disgust. Nothing. Quickly he wrote his name on the top of the paper, followed by the date, before drawing a little picture of a cowboy being shot by Terrence and Philip. At least now it looked like he was doing something. Stan let out a sigh of relief and sat back to study his work.

As he looked closer, he noticed something wasn't right. Terrence and Philip looked good and the cowboy's horse, well it wasn't perfect but you could tell it was a horse. It must have been something about the cowboy himself. Now that he looked carefully he noticed that there was something wrong with his hat. But how could one screw up a cowboy's hat? It wasn't exactly traditional; it was large and square with earflaps to keep them warm... And for some reason he had coloured it green. The only thing in the entire drawing he had coloured.

Kyle didn't look like anything was bothering him. He was quietly and calmly writing notes, with little expression on his face. Only a slight brow crease of concentration.

"Dude are you ok?" Stan blinked and looked at his best friend who was now looking at him. The brow crease of concentration had now evolved into a crease of concern, or was it confusion.

"What? Yeah I'm ok Dude, why?"

"You just look a little lost, do you want to copy my notes after class?"

"Yeah, thanks. That'd be great." Stan turned his eyes to Mr Garrison and tried to be interested in what he was saying, promising himself that he would not start gawping at Kyle again. Instead he turned his attention to Wendy. The lovely Wendy, his wonderful girlfriend. His gorgeous, funny, smart and talented girlfriend. Yeah he was straight, he was totally straight...

'Dude!' Stan thought to himself, 'Where did that come from?' He knew he was straight; Kyle was the one with a crush on him.

Only after the longest seventeen minutes of Stan's life had finally passed did the bell ring, dismissing the class for the weekend. Stan bolted out of his seat, forgetting his homework and the fluffy red pen Wendy had given him for Valentine's Day. He walked quickly out the door, afraid that running might draw a little too much attention.

"Stan!" Kyle called after him, the usually comforting voice making Stan 'walk' faster. "Stan wait!" Damn, he could hear Kyle's footsteps, which actually had the balls to run, catching up to him. Why did his best friend have to play so much basketball? Deciding it would probably be better to give into defeat now then have to explain later why he was so desperate to leave, Stan stopped, sighed pinching the bridge of his nose and turned to face his latest torment.

"Hey Kyle," He said with a forced but convincing smile, "What's up?"

"The notes," Kyle said holding out a folded piece of paper. "I wrote two copied during class just in case you dropped out. You're kind of predictable on a Friday afternoon."

"Oh... Thanks Dude," Stan replied reaching out to take the paper. As he took the notes his thumb brushed against Kyle's fingers and he felt a jolt go through his best friend's hand. Stan looked up and saw Kyle's face prickling and his breath speed up and little bit. Not very much though, defiantly not enough for anyone to notice. Providing that you weren't paying attention.

'So it's true...' Stan thought.

"An-And your homework," Kyle continued. "You forgot it."

"Oh man, I am so out of it today!" Stan replied rolling his eyes, trying to seem casual. He hoped to God he was succeeding. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Huh?"

"You know we were going to see that movie."

"Oh no I remember that Stan, it just... Well the bus?"

"Oh God right!" Stan pinched his nose again. If someone were to look up how to 'Play it Cool' then this would be in the section explaining what NOT to do. "Can you just hold it for me? I'll be there in a second."

"Sure." Kyle when to turn away but Stan grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

'Ok Stan,' He thought. 'Ultimate experiment one.' He pulled Kyle closer and gave him a hug. They had hugged before, it was no big deal, but he just wanted to see if anything had changed. It had. It was subtle but Stan could feel it.

Kyle's heart beat sped up just a tiny bit and he warmed up just a little. The most obvious sign was when Stan tried to pull away but for a split-second Kyle resisted. "Thanks Dude," Stan said smiling before turning away and heading down the corridor. To afraid to even look back at Kyle's expression.

Was he being vain or paranoid? Or did he feel it? Was it enough to assume that the phone conversation was more than a misunderstanding? 'Wait,' He thought, 'The phone conversation. All of them involve at least two people.' All he would have to do is speak to the other person and then he would realise that this was all just a big mistake!

"Kenny!" He called out frantically. "Kenny!"

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Thanks Guys for all the faves so quickly. But I better get some reviews or I might decide not to put the rest up...


	3. Chapter 3

"Kenny!" Stan continued to call. He could swear he had been looking for an hour, but know that the clock was right in it only being a few minutes.

"What!" He turned around to see a very angry person in a familiar orange parka.

"Um... Hey Kenny, how's it going dude?"

"How's it going? You've been running around shouting my name just to ask me how it's going. What the fuck dude?" Stan shrugged, his eyes not knowing where to go.

"Alright fine," He admitted. "I need to talk to you about Kyle."

"What about him?" Stan looked over his shoulder. They were alone. "When I was deleting the rest of Eavesdropper yesterday I noticed a story that Wikileaks failed to show everyone..."

"What kind of story?" Kenny asked before bursting out laughing. "Whose butt-crack was it this time?"

"No, no it wasn't about me, well I was in it but I wasn't... IN it if you know what I mean."

"...What the fuck?"

"Oh ok, it was about Kyle."

"Ok what about Kyle?"

Does he... Does he like me?"

"Dude are you serious!" Kenny's face looked like it was about to explode. "Seriously?" The orange ball of anger punched the locker and stormed off.

"No, Kenny please don't be angry. I just-"

"You just read some story about something Kyle said and now you think that he doesn't like you anymore?"

"Well I... What?" Stan didn't have a chance to think any further before Kenny shoved him against the locker.

"So what if Kyle said something behind your back, we all do it. I've heard you say stuff about him when he wasn't around. It doesn't become significant just because it's on some retarded webpage."

"No dude! That's not it! I swear."

"Positive?"

"Yes!" Kenny released him suddenly causing Stan to fall to the floor with a thud.

"You've got the wrong idea Kenny," He said as his friend helped him up. "I meant does Kyle... You know... Have a crush on me?" Kenny said nothing. He just stared blankly at him. "There was this story, it was called Broflovski's Secret Boy Crush and it involved a phone conversation between you two..." Before anything else could be said or even happen, Stan found himself pressed up against the locker again.

"Why would you listen to that?"

"Well I'd already read the article."

"So you thought you'd make it worse?

"No I decided to see if it was true. Please dude just calm down and let me go!" Kenny decided to take pity on Stan and let him go, gently lowering him to the ground this time as opposed to dropping him.

"Look dude," Kenny continued, much calmer this time. "I don't know how Kyle feels. I don't know if he sees you as more than a friend. All I know was that during that phone conversation he thought he was talking to me and only me. It was not meant for the internet and certainly not for you. But I remember that night well and I remember him saying that he was not going to do anything about it and that he didn't see it as a big deal. So why are you worried?"

"Well I'm not exactly worried." That was a lie, he was completely worried.

"Then why did you feel the need to talk to me, why were you staring at him all afternoon like he had balls stuck on his chin!" Stan paled, his mouth going dry. Had it really been that obvious that he was looking at him?

"Look Kenny, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just wanted to know."

"That was your first thought huh? 'Is it true, does he really have a boy crush on me?'"

"Well yeah, isn't that what yours would be?"

"If it was me then yes, I would have been shocked to learn that my friend has a crush on me. But I'd also feel kind of bad that there was going to be a story that would have outed him to the entire school!" Stan froze. That was something he hadn't considered.

Stan followed Kenny onto the bus, ignoring everyone's comments mocking how slow they had been. He felt like a douche. Like the biggest douche ever, the biggest in the universe. Kyle was gay and not ready to tell anyone, not even his best friend (if Stan could still call himself that) and if it hadn't been for that big secret story everyone in the school would have known. That would have been far more embarrassing for him then craping his pants. I mean there were those commercials all over YouTube about gay kids who had killed themselves, what if something like that happened to Kyle.

Stan looked up from his melancholy trail of thought and saw Wendy. He waved at her but she only gave him a half smile back and turned to talk to Red. Stan didn't think much of it; she always had days like this.

"Dude, over here!" Kyle waved at him and patted the seat next to him at the very back of the bus. Stan smiled and without a second thought went over to sit next to him.

"Hey dude, what's up?"

"Not a lot, probably just going to try and get that science project done tonight. Hopefully it won't take too long because I've almost finished the fifth level of that game you lent me last week so-"

There he was, his best friend. Thank God he was safe.

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Don't worry guys, that is not how it ends. Still got a little bit more to go. Let me know what you want to happen in your reviews (which you WILL post) you never know maybe you'll inspire me :-)


	4. Chapter 4

Weeks passed slowly by in South Park. Stan carried on as normal, loving and supporting his best friend. He tried not to let anything change. Stan had his fall outs with Kyle over the dangers of making a promotional anti-bullying video and memes alongside their agreements about "Cash for Gold" being a scam and American security going too far. But nothing brought them closer than a traumatic Zip-lining experience. Stan would never forgive himself for running off to San Diego to Jack-Off while Kyle was in the hospital, but at the time it didn't seem like it could be helped. Besides at least they had both gotten a little more time off from school because of it.

Despite trying to let nothing change between Kyle and himself, the memory of the story kept niggling in the back of his mind. Every time he watched Kyle in class, out on the basketball court or on the football field the same thought came into his mind. _He is gay. _Stan had no problem with it, he had never been homophobic in the true sense of the world, and he had always been tolerant of gay people (something that had not changed despite a certain traumatic camp.) The thought just kept coming up. He decided that all he needed was time to adjust to the idea. But how long would it take? A month, three months, a year?

Things were not helped by Wendy's recent attitude. She seemed to be ignoring him most of the time and never wanted to sit next to him on the bus or at the lunch table. Stan didn't know what to do. Sometimes he felt that Kyle was the lucky one, surely it was easier to manage a relationship if it was two guys who didn't care about feelings or spending time with each other. He wished Kyle would just come out, at least to him, so he could tell him how easy his life was. Stan knew he couldn't do that. He had no right to tell Kyle he knew his secret and had no right to out him. When Kyle was ready to talk, he would talk.

Stan thought he had the situation under control. But anything can be changed by the smallest thing. Something as meaningless and everyday as a new girl moving to South Park.

To Butters it seemed to be a big deal but Stan didn't care personally. Of course when he saw her it was predictable that Cartman would do something stupid and racist but he had grown past caring or at least submitting to defeat over his bigoted ways. Although Eric's intentions were not clear to him at first he immediately realised there was little he could do to stop the strange, angry boy. But when he first saw Nicole, he didn't spend long staring at her or Eric. His eyes soon became drawn to Kyle who for some reason couldn't take his eyes of Nicole.

'Dude?' Stan asked him shaking his shoulder gently. 'What's up?' Kyle blinked hard and turned to him, forcing a smile.

'Oh nothing,' He replied before turning his gaze back onto the cheerleader. The bell rang signalling the beginning of class and the students immediately dispersed. Stan went to follow his friends but stopped when he heard a whiney voice he knew he should probably stay and listen to.

'Stan,' Wendy called to her boyfriend. 'Can I talk to you for a second?' Stan rolled his eyes and slowly turned round. This was typical, she hadn't spoken to him in weeks and now when he needed to get to class she wanted to talk.

'Sure,' Said Stan reluctantly. Despite her request to talk Wendy said nothing, she just looked at the ground, her eyes welling up with tears. 'Well what is it?' Stan asked growing more impatient than he already was.

'Oh Stan!' Suddenly the girl burst into tears, her words coming out in sobs. 'If you don't want to be with me anymore you could at least have the decency to tell me!'

'What!' Stan couldn't believe it, where was this coming from? He had been trying to talk to her but she was the one who kept ignoring him. At that moment he swore that he would never understand women. After a while Wendy looked up from her sobs and pulled a pen out of her pocket. A large, pink fluffy pen. Stan only had one thought: "Oh crap!"

'You left it in class months ago, before spring break,' Said Wendy. 'I picked it up when you ran out of the class room. I was annoyed but I was sure you'd try and find it. But you didn't! You never even confessed to me that you lost it! You didn't even seem to notice it was gone. All this time when you've been borrowing pens off Clyde you didn't think about where it might have gotten to?' Stan wasn't sure what to say to make things better. It was one of those moments when he knew he couldn't say what he wanted to, since whatever he would have said would be used against him. 'Please Stan,' Wendy continued. 'I thought I meant more to you than that!'

'You do...'

'Not enough for you to care about the things I give you!' Wendy stormed out the gym and into class.

Stan stared blankly at the door, pinching the bridge of his nose. These next few days were going to be hell.


End file.
